Mom says I was a wonderful sleeper as a baby. Guess she was so sleep deprived after my older sister’s two years constant night awakening that whatever I did was good enough. After all, our appreciation of things in life has a LOT to do with expectations, right?

I LOVE sleeping. The feeling of dozing off, the rested body, the magic of dreams. Somehow, as long as I can remember, it has been quite a challenge to fall asleep, and stay asleep. So get this clear right away: my expectation is to SLEEP! I envy those who can doze off anywhere, anytime.

For the Highly Sensitive People (HSP) sleeping takes a whole new meaning since we get more easily overwhelmed and investigators claim we need it more than norm. Its not just biological, it works wonders… to the extent that I sometimes feel I have my “normal me” and my “having problems with sleep me” whom you would not like that much! I’m a mess, literally most of my wiser, creative self goes to waste, by going into survival mode. My worst period ever was when my son turned 3 months until… he was 15-18 months old!

We’re sensitive to temperature, noise, textures, and our environment activity level — and this may affect the ability to fall asleep. EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT HIGHLY SENSITIVE, when stressed & overstimulated, we produce cortisol hormone, putting the body on alert. Because the nervous system is highly affected without the necessary hibernation hours and once we get the chance to finally hit the bed, we are too stimulated to be able to STOP the racing mind. I can actually feel my body throbbing. Adrenaline from the day hits hard, and if we dare to have something planned ahead, it gets even worse!

So, what to do? I will not cover the obvious advice about moderating daily activities and multi tasking, because sometimes we just have to comply with some responsibilities in certain speed and time frame, because we choose to prioritize a given role in out life! –> So…. WHAT TO DO? I will share my strategy, hoping it will help you too.

• Nap. I can not agree with the popular belief that naps take time off night sleep. For me, it’s exactly the opposite. I need to STOP. Every person has its own rhythm (circadian) and knows that there are times of the day when we feel off. Unfortunately most (I include myself sometimes!) mitigate this fall of energy with substances of more activity (Does “I need coffee” sound familiar?). My downhill moment is around 2-3pm, independently of the time I had lunch or what I ate. If I can’t nap I just do not schedule anything that requires my full attention or physical strength. Closing my eyes and being aware of my breath is the least I can do for self care. Back in my corporate high speed agenda I would manage my appointments to allow myself to handle reactive activities for my low-battery moment. Like checking my inbox (something I did on a scheduled basis to avoid multi tasking).
• Avoid caffeine (or “mate”) after noon. I wish I did not like coffee. But I do. So much. I only drink it with milk and confess to be quite fussy about the kind I have. On days when I’m too “accelerated” I go decaf. What I have not mastered yet is avoiding chocolate & sweets late in the evening… But it’s definitely something that affects alertness and sleep conciliation. Alcohol and carbonated drinks may be also considered in this point, moderating intake surely helps!
• Meditate. On the busiest days I just fit in 10 minute sessions (1-3 times a day). Whether it’s just some conscious breathing and body parts relaxation, or a guided more spiritual visualization, it helps to calm down. When too stressed, I will need to listen to a guided visualization on noise cancelling headphones! I have been using Calm app. Try out the short meditation I have posted.
• Look out for comfort in a Highly Sensitive kind of way (which is almost freaky): no lights, no noise, no tight clothes, nice cozy bed and pillow. Even for naps. The cuddling must be prior to actually facing dreamland haha… this must be the most repeated negotiation every night with my partner. He could fall asleep all tangled and for me it’s simply impossible. At least on every day life.
• Holidays. Sooooooo necessary. It’s like sleep resetting me! The “sleep cure” I call them. For this to happen, I need holidays that happen in a familiar place, where I settle for at least one week and have outdoors activities planned as well as a lot of down time.
• Bedtime. Routine is nurturing for the HSP. I just have a couple “hard points” and prefer not to follow the same plan every day. But that’s just me…! My hard point is more on the 2-3pm rest stop, and eating frequently. I have still not mastered bed time. But I can FEEL how I get over stimulated when I stay up after 11pm. That’s the turning point when I will have more trouble falling asleep and having better quality rest…
• Speaking Up. I simply can not sleep if I am having mental unspoken conversations on “repeat” in my mind. Of course I will not call someone at 2am just to vent. On the contrary, I obsess and find it hard to express. So writing down what I would say helps a lot. Have you tried the free guide on how to face difficult conversations as an HSP yet?

I may be leaving out a few more Better Sleep and Falling Asleep tips, but the above are the most important so far. I am actually surprised I do so much about it… had not actually thought about it until I sat to write and share it with you.

Falling asleep. A pleasure. A talent. One that can be trained. As I once heard in a hilarious video about sleeping when being a parent with small kids, let’s wish each other luck and forget about the “good night”. Good luck!