I guess most of us were brought up we some kind of “You’ve got to toughen up” message of some kind. Sounds familiar? Whether it was in relation to our siblings, or at school, or the thousandth time we lost at some competition or game and broke up in tears. Whether it came from our parents or media, the message was clear: To survive and to be successful you have got to show you are strong, and even, that you do not care that much.

Years later, we grow up and get into a big company and are evaluated by our “emotional intelligence” skills. At least I was. And when closing up on the concept, we learn we are expected to keep our sh$#% together no matter what, like we should stay as undisturbed as stagnant water. Even if we implode, we should not show it, because it may affect others (subordinates, peers and, truth be told, our bosses who are the most affected by high maintenance reports).

Part of my background is Engineering. I am a Highly Sensitive engineer haha… You can begin to imagine how much hard it was for me to navigate those university years, surrounded by lots of more rational (vs. emotional) kind of people. BUT, ONE VERY IMPORTANT CONCEPT I LEARNED WAS ABOUT RESILIENCE. According to Cambridge Dictionary:

Resilience means the ability of a substance to return to its usual shape after being bent, stretched, or pressed.

So, for example, when gluing tiles to concrete, we will need to consider a space for joints as the tile material will probably “work” by expanding with heat and then going back to its original size. Guess which materials are the most resilient?? It turns out very tough looking ones! Like STEEL for instance. It look super hard! However, it is sooo flexible. When exposed to very high temperatures it will even melt and change its shape. Sounds a little bit like some very tough person exposed to love 😉

On the contrary, those materials that are the least resilient, will break if hit. Diamond for example. Looks so fancy, still is so fragile. Which brings me to my bottomline message: The more we embrace vulnerability, the more flexible we are, the most stronger and powerful we will really be. Because we will not break. We may change, we WILL change, we will evolve over and over again, more in line with whom we were meant to become -before we believed all those who told us we needed to toughen up!

Net, if you are a Highly Sensitive Person, then you will probably be more prone to being affected by stimuli, being changed by it. By no means should this be something bad. It is actually very powerful. It will make you stronger! Flexibility is the new Tough.

Even at a Corporate Job, ESPECIALLY THERE, showing your vulnerability will not only show you humanity, but your ability to FEEL and be changed by that, for the better. And when emotions run too high, then a very useful tip is to LABEL THEM! This will take off the dramatic component that scares most business people.

Finally, I believe we have got to end the mix up between softness and weakness. Being soft (vulnerable, loving, etc.) will not make you a loser. There is more to win than to lose. Because playing “tough” will not necessarily take you further. In the inside (that voice that resonates when we hit the pillow every night) we will feel more connected and loved when we talk and act from our true sensitive self.

TRY OUT MEDITATION AS AN EASY TOOL TO CONNECT WITH THE MORE VULNERABLE & POWERFUL SELF WITHIN! (You may download a free short meditation here)