Uncomfortable zone alert! <<<

As unlikely as it may sound, I actually am able to enjoy the spotlight now and then. Able to have fun…most of the time, and I can tell most people cannot tell how hard it is for me to be up front. My “enjoy-ability” of course depends of several factors…from which only a few I can actually control. I want to share what helps me so maybe YOU can try it out, and do not miss out on those unique opportunities that sometimes come along at the cost of facing an audience*

1. Designing plans A, B & C; planning accordingly and practice 1000x
2. Soothing techniques: mindfulness via meditation for example
3. Relying on a mentor
4. Coming up with a performing mantra
5. LOTS of pre & after down time to prepare and recover

One TRICK I use, and it’s what has helped me the most since I was small and shier, is to “be in character”, something I learned in acting lessons and have naturally extended to the other “stages” in life. EVEN WHEN I SPEAK AS MYSELF, I tell myself I am a given character. This is how, when it is not actually the me-me showing herself out there, I can say or do what otherwise would be impossible. It worked almost every time: on every year-end school performance, on public speaking competitions, when being Pantene Argentina spokesperson or as a workshop coach.

1. Designing plans A, B & C; planning accordingly and practicing 1000x

Highly sensitive people share the characteristic of thinking A LOT before acting, so when needing to perform, it will not come as a surprise, that planning beforehand will happen matter of factly. The trick lies on what to FOCUS your thoughts on, so that instead of pre-occupying, you actually occupy yourself with what can be controlled. And because we tend to consider (almost) all of the possible scenarios, we will likely have enough creativity to come up with plan A, and also a plan B. Try not to go overboard with too many “what if’s”, and limit to maximum 3 plans:

• Say you have to lead a high-level business meeting. You may have been asked to prepare some kind of information to share and may even have been advised about the audience preferred format. But what if they were wrong and audience preferred a one sheet to a PowerPoint presentation? What if the previous meetings took longer than expected and you were left with scarcely 20 minutes to deliver your part? What if your computer got stuck? (and the zillion wrong things that happen with technology when you most need it) All of these and MORE have happened to me.

The Earth did not open to swallow me, and some bosses were not understanding and shielding, I just was looked at anxiously to DELIVER no matter what.

–> THAT’S WHEN YOUR PLANNING KICKS IN: You will have prepared at least 2 formats, and your long presentation will always have 1 slide that sums all up (just in case). You will have copied those materials to 2 more computers and have asked for help to you pre-arranged support team. You go early, try it all out. You get my point…

• Now let’s imagine you end up performing on stage, at a play or something. It’s actually easier in this case, for the simple fact that audience does not know how the play develops, how the lines or moves go, the surprise factor is kind of the whole point, right? So my best advice is NOT TO HIGHLIGHT YOUR ERROR (or someone else’s mistake), because it is not an error for the rest. This I learned from my favorite drama teacher ever, Cris Hansen, who knows me since I was 2! He gave us soooooo many tips, like if we felt we would suddenly not hit the key, just speak it! If you forget the lyrics just lalala-it. But would also be highly disciplined on going over & over again positions (especially not to jeopardize the spotlight manager and lights arrangement!) and lines & songs. Practice may not make perfect but HELPS.

2. Soothing techniques

Mentioning Cris reminded me of the first time I was introduced to relaxation techniques prior to performing. I was mini Sigi. He would invite us to lie down on stage (curtains closed) and would guide us through a short mindfulness exercise, just before curtain opening. It worked wonders! Focusing on our breath and each part of our body. Soothing us, preparing us to be PRESENT at the moment, to enjoy ourselves, to perform for FUN, for ourselves, not to impress others.

Prior to speaking out loud in class or in a business meeting -both of which gave me the burning ears and pounding heart sensations- I will always take a very deep breath (also memorize the first words I wanted to say).

Try out a short guided meditation. I have recorded a short version for you to download for free:

3. Relying on a mentor

What a HUGE difference having an expert on the subject of performance coach you. Sometimes we need that extra help a few can provide. You need to identify who that is. In my opinion, there is no ONE guru, and I am pretty against fanaticism. And certainly “one size does not fit all”. Who will work for me, may not work for you.

4. Coming up with a performing mantra

I am such an enthusiast of this tip! Maybe it’s always the same, maybe it’s ad-hoc.

The Sanskrit word mantra is derived from the root of man which means “to think,” and tra from trai which means “to protect or to free from bondage” or “to free from the mind.” A mantra is a repeated sound which can be chanted, listened to or practiced mentally. It helps focus attention, releases emotion (especially helpful if you are very judgmental upon yourself), elevate frequency through subtle vibrations aligning your awareness.

My favorite mantra for this is “I am”, very powerful on manifesting. So, you can simply repeat these two words, or fill in the blanks… “I am calm” …  “I am successful” even! Another simple one is “Om”. Om is a Sanskrit word that is meant to convey the “original vibration of manifestation”. It’s a very sedative sound, too.

5. LOTS of pre & after down time to prepare and recover

And I can’t stress the “LOTS” part enough. Do NOT engage on any activity before or after. One therapist I used to go to taught me something that was life-changing (or maybe more agenda-changing?) for me: NICE THINGS ALSO WEAR YOU OUT. I would insist that “I had this and that planned, BUT all of which were nice things”… and then I would be out of ideas on why was I SOOOOO drained. Dinner out, forcing yourself to sleep less so you fit your jogging in so you don’t miss it that day when you are also performing, being ashamed of taking a nap, are a few examples that illustrate my point. Meditating is again an excellent resource (Download a short guided visualization here!).

Unique opportunities rarely come twice in a row, they may be a chance to learn, have fun or for more life-changing attempts. Even if life has a way of showing you a path in diverse ways, we choose to stay on a certain “vector” with every choice we make… You never know what THAT performance will bring as a result… So, please, challenge that belief about introverts not being able to go on stage. You will feel when it’s time. Anyways, here I am to help you through it 🙂

*For those who believe in astrology (I do), I should tell I have had a little extra help since birth, as the part of the smaller proportion of the fire element in me (which helps a LOT to be prone to like the spotlight) is thanks to my sun in Leo in the house of work. So, whether I struggle inside or not, I am inclined to want to shine, lead and be rather histrionic when performing my job. I usually do not go unnoticed in that arena (which is sometimes quite annoying).