I guess it happens to most of us, when belonging to the Corporate life that unfolds in cubicles in the “open space” offices, and we have to deal with long hours of high stimuli, not to mention one or more bosses that may micro-manage our way to burn out. Also commuting if we live far away, having few healthy options to snack and have lunch (or having to plan & take these with us!), and the … small talk, oh how much small talk we have to bear at the workplace. The lights, the seating, and all of the (lack of?) ergonomics at many companies. OK, I may be exaggerating a bit, but I am pretty sure we all share some level of dislike for at least ONE of the above adorable perks of Corp life.
One of the worst days I spent during my years working for a big company was while preparing for an internal audit: It was my BIRTHDAY, and it was actually already late in the evening and I was asked to cover another manager because he could not speak the language and our boss decided he was therefore exempted from analyzing the data to go back to the auditors the next morning. Oh my, I was SO pissed off. BUT… yes, I am a highly responsible person, a feature that comes bundled with the High Sensitivity trait. And therefore, I delivered. Impeccably. Even if it was in my Grumpy mood.
Why mention such a gloomy memory? Well, it was especially during those events, that I wished to be self-employed. I would imagine not having to go through that kind of thing ever again. Not having a boss to deal with on a going basis. Choosing how to best accommodate work within my personal schedule (Definitely not on my birthday!). Limiting small talk haha. Making my workstation as comfy as I wished. Probably working from home, as much as I liked!! (I was famous for negotiating the “flex work arrangement” to its full extent). Being able to rest and re charge, no judgements passed. AND THE BEST PART IN MY DAY DREAMING? I would make a living by doing JUST what I was passionate about. No boring tasks. No bureaucracy.
I can picture the self-employed laughing at my illusory manifesto about self-employment. I know I would now that I’m navigating these fascinating waters… There is no such thing as the perfect job. And there is certainly not such thing as not doing boring things ever again! The truth is that we will always have to deal with a fee of small talk, administrative work, and … oh yeah, relationships. Very few jobs actually can escape from dealing with people; meaning feelings are involved whether we acknowledge them or not.
Day-dreaming about self-employment as a Highly Sensitive Person is, I believe, inevitable. It looks like the only way out (at least, when we NEED to work to make ends meet). But it isn’t. BELIEVE ME. It isn’t. We will feel miserable anywhere, anytime, as long as we do not connect and unleash our true passion. It may be perfectly released working for someone else, or in a huge company. It may have to do with the job description, or it may come along in an unexpected way. For me, it was all about going every day to work to be recognized for my coaching. I have a calling to help others. I enjoy being of service. Becoming a boss-coach was my goal. It was not until I could connect with this (through plenty of inner work) that the real path towards trying out self-employment began.
Until we are ready to try out a new way of making a living, there is plenty we can do:
- Validate whether your wish is your command. It is perfectly valid to fancy a more ideal job. But we need to discern whether we are OK with just playing with the idea, or if our soul is desperately asking for a way out of the current situation. Knowing the difference will save us lots of distress and propel our well-being. And please, make yourself a favor and asses whether it is actually YOUR command, or someone else’s! As HSP we may empathize to the extent of having trouble telling apart.
- Talk to self-employed who can share their REAL story with you. Someone you know and can validate. Demand the cruel truth and not some sugar-coated version. This is to start preparing & planning ahead, not to fear.
- Do NOT quit your job. Unless you’ve got financial back up. Also, because you can try out what path best suits your independent version of your desired job.
- Seek guidance & welcome self-discovery. A great idea is to look for at least one mentor, and to face a self “out placement” process. Although therapy is always a good idea, in this particular case, I vow for coaching. It is a very powerful tool to design your self-employed-self (SES). It is actually breath taking to consider all the possibilities: Shall I move within my area of expertise? Shall I prepare for something new? Etc., etc., etc. This step is also important to know when to leap. Or not.
- Train yourself, please. Although I should not even have to mention this to a Highly Sensitive Person. Perfectionism is actually a problem we face. I always liked the saying: Whatever you are, be a good one. It sounded something like this.
Whatever you are, be a good one.
Abraham Lincoln
Check out my FREE GUIDE on how to prepare difficult conversations as an HSP, as the route to self-employment sure has many of those… & the next step on how to become self employed!
