Inspired in the almost lack of reading online material on this specific discussion them, I want to share my experience on the matter.
As a Highly Sensitive working mom, I have learned to pause many of my duties, to maximize rest, and focus on nurturing my babies. Some of it came easily, BUT LOTS DID NOT. I certainly had to deal with several internal and external challenges.
Pregnancy per se means heightened perception and emotions for many women. When combined with High Sensitivity, it has been my personal experience that it does not necessarily mean “more” of this. But it definitely means not being able to ignore it! And as all kinds of opportunities life hands us to grow in awareness and consciousness, this is one of my favorites: Pregnancy exposes you to a much needed proficiency in self care ♥ … something particularly vital for the HSP.
First things first. I have experienced healthy pregnancies -with the average symptoms and setbacks on a body that makes place for another human being to grow inside, of course. So, if you have any condition that needs treatment then maybe you will not relate to what I share.
When working while pregnant and Highly Sensitive, I follow the following guidelines, which I encourage you to follow:
#1 Rest, rest, rest …
I did not say sleep, because of many reasons: it’s not that simple for many Highly Sensitive People (seen my post on sleep already?), and work PLUS the other many roles in life besides the “growing a human being” part may attempt against all the allegedly necessary sleeping hours. It’s nice to know that you are taking good care of yourself even if you do not fall and stay asleep. And it helps to train yourself to stop frequently throughout the day, as you will when baby comes and follow her lead! — So, a scheduled reminder or even making 15-30mins booking with one self will work out. Closing eyes, taking a few conscious breaths and PUTTING YOUR FEET UP will do the trick. Even at you work station (if the job allows it), at the car, or… yep, at the toilet (been there, done that).
#2 Choosing NOT TO vs. Prioritizing
Some (not HSP) may find this guideline redundant. However, when I promote choosing what to do, and what NOT to do, and make a distinction versus prioritizing, I am implying that by not doing so, it not only takes a toll on our energy levels, but on our emotions and peace of mind. One therapist once told me the most obvious yet illuminating thought related to this: “The good stuff, the enjoyable things we do, ALSO tire us out”. Even if I am no fan of the 5 – fingers -role rule (we can only do well 5 roles in life, and need to de-prioritize the rest) it may help us choose. Not JUST prioritize, postpone, but still have in the back of our mind that we “need to” get to that eventually, but CHOOSE, and LET GO. How does this work?? Well, If my 5 roles are: Taking care of myself (& baby within), Working, Being a wife/partner, Being a mom to my other kids, Running the house (dog included), then I will have to accept I will not be “Friend of the year”, or daughter or sister or aunt or the next Cross Fit champion. OR, I may get in my 1 on 1 friendships, and take out running the house by delegating that more to partner/paying for more help.
#3 Managing the (extra) emotions
If we speak of work, and we speak of pregnancy, we need to discuss how emotionally trained we are. This is the toughest one for me, and the kind of job I had while pregnant the first time, was quite a challenge in this aspect. Even if I do not like guilting hormones, they DO affect us, big time, then we add the Highly Sensitive trait, and we face a very difficult task: not breaking down in tears or despair for every tiny setback the job hands at us. Here’s where #1 Resting guideline kicks in. The more we stop in between tasks, the more relaxed we are, the more perspective we can take, the less likely we are to reacting in a harmful way. I choose to say harmful, because no matter the CAUSE of our reactions, we are ALWAYS responsible for the CONSEQUENCES. Or are we not?
Resting helps regulate our mood, and so does talking periodically to someone whose ears are trained to listen beyond the obvious. Therapists, certified coaches, and even very caring and respectful co-workers and friends will do wonders. At least, the minimum that helps is to write down all that goes around in our minds, which is a LOT. Once the emotion is named, then is automatically cools down. Try out a very short meditation for free (download below!).
Whether we follow one, two or all of the above guidelines to be pregnant, Highly Sensitive, AND working, we want to stay focused on life, and that implies looking after ourselves in the most balanced way we can. Working is important, it pays the bills and, hopefully, fulfills us in many other ways, but these are months to remember to STOP and breath and thank whomever we believe in for the miracle we bear inside.
Namaste.
